Fat Ginger Big Issue Seller (F.G.B.I.S) :
Big Issue. Big Issue. Awright kiddies want a copy? Fresh aff the Press
Us:
No thanks you’re alright mate
F.G.B.I.S:
Oh go on, helps the homeless an aw that. Go on wit about you pal?
Ewan:
Na sorry mate, students you know….
F.G.B.I.S:
But it’s for a good cause. Helpin the homeless an aw that. Awright wit about you darlin’?
Natalie:
Na you're alright thanks
F.G.B.I.S:
Aye what about you then pal? Wit age ur yae?
Me:
Eh, hard sell isn’t quite working is it. We’ve already said not interested mate. Doesn’t matter what my age is
F.G.B.I.S:
Right, so you’re a fanny then aye?
Ewan:
:o
Natalie:
Eh, that’s a bit harsh
Me:
Eh, aye ok mate
F.G.B.I.S:
Cause you’ve got a huge fuckin cranium aye. She’s far prettier than yae. Ya wee wank. *walks off*
WELCOME TO GLASGOW
Don’t you just love it. Im so proud to be Glaswegien. If in doubt just act like a total prick to people an you’re bound to get your own way in the end. At least that’s what the guy thought. Said the exact same shite to the people beside us in the Bier Halle Beer Garden.
Week 1
First week home I have off work and I decide to go nuts and do…..wait for it…waaait for it…..absolutely nothing. Except watch 24 and drink some foreign beers. Think in the end I watched a Season and a half. Ridiculously good. And yes correct that’s roughly a whole day’s worth in hours watching Jacky B strutt his stuff on that LA Takedown Dancefloor of Hardcore Action. Yas.
Week 2
Monday and I begin work at Caledonia TV. It’s great. Really nice people. Very welcoming into the team and I pretty much get stuck right in there with their Museums series ‘Ulaidhean’ taking over where Colette left off. I finish off her shooting notes then do some transcripts. Not exactly best of fun but that leads onto shadowing the editing of the first six episodes of rushes later in the week. And that’s all ill say about work. I meet Si and Jo that night and go see the Simpsons film. Pretty funny but not as great as everyone seems to be saying it is. Ends up being a bit of a night out. Was Joanne’s introduction to the Glasgow nightlife. Or something. Go around most of the best bars in town. Get drunk a little too quickly but its all good in the hood. Early hours and I stagger home and realise my Amy Macdonald signed copy has arrived. It’s ACE everyone buy it now.
Tuesday night I meet with Davyd and we go see Transformers – aye CGI’s very nice but I could have came to that conclusion from just watching the trailer. I hate Michael Bay. All looks very pretty but the scripts are always laughable and the plots always ridiculous. Howbout you stop letting this guy make 200 million pound movies and give it to me. Anyone. With that kind of money anyone could make something easily as ‘impressive’ as Michael fuckin’ Bay. Many Staropramen down the hatch in the Bier Halle with Davyd and we decide to make a short film. Still in the works so ideas still in early early pre-production stage. Tbc at later date.
Wednesday I promise myself im going to be sensible and just go straight home after work. Aye right. Strolling along Bath Street and who do I see/hear but Jen from the City Inn days chatting with crazy friend Annie in Bar Bloc. Original 2 drinks then home idea very soon disappears when I random meet with kev boyle from school. We talk music. His band His Girl Friday are excellent. Another addition to this random meet is my bosses daughter Kirsty. I try very hard to behave myself and be all professional etc but aye right like im going to pull that off. We decide to head to the west end. Ewan joins is in Brel on Ashton Lane. Drinks till late. £4.25 for a Kronenbourg Blanc. Loaded obviously….shit.
Thursday I go for lunch with Ewan in Chinaski’s. many beers after end up in firewater chatting up underage girls for a laugh. 2 more in Magic Cafe to share their pizza onion rings. keep calling one billie piper and she hates it because she’s Australian. Or was it South African. Who knows. Later she spills donner sauce on my jeans. Aye cheers.
On the Saturday I go see Die Hard 4 with my dad. So much better than I thought it would be. Beats 2 and 3 certainly. Can’t beat a bit of John MacLean over the top beating off fighter jets with his bare hands and using cars as weapons to take down helicopters – car takes it out in mid air. As you do. After the showing we go out the wrong exit of the cinema. Front and back entrance/exit look identical. Rather hilarious moment almost losing dads car. Being 24’d out of my nut my first thought was ‘what would Jack Bauer do?’. Was fully prepared to go over to the ticket desk and demand to speak to head of security, demand CCTV footage of the car park adjacent to the building, cross reference any ID’s made with any unsolved car thefts over the last 6 months. But then we realise we were in the South Car Park, not the North. Oh well. Was looking forward to that aswell…
Week 3
Monday I go for a meal and screening of Thomas Telford at Les Wilson, the boss’s house. Dinner is great. Some fancy Jamie Oliver recipe. Les is quite the entertainer. Tuesday is Annie’s 22nd Birthday Party with Del and Jen. Met a girl Jen who is the face of a Belle and Sebastien album cover or something – whatever. Spoke to Sarah, Jen's mate about possible flat and
arranged for viewing Wed. Went back to Del's after and watched Jackie Brown and fell asleep. Woke up half 5, 2 hours sleep until I had to go to work.
Wednesday I do lunch with Simon at the beloved Chinaski's. Plan for cinema later. Flat viewing at 7 and it looks great. Ewan and Natalie come too but decide to maybe look at few others before we decide to move out. Go to bier halle for dinner and few drinks with Si Nat Ewan. sit outside at first but get hastled by cheeky ginger big issue guy see above) that calls me a fanny because I dont tell him my age and that his hard sell is failing miserably. Ewan and Nat go home at 10 Si and I go
Stavka for a few. Pub Quiz - whats worse than a maggot in an apple? being raped……had to be there I guess…
Thursday's a quiet one I go home finish 24 season 5 and sleep. Friday I do lunch with Ewan in The Hall. The scream burger is ace and get to play some pool but get a bit too excited and rather tipsy from downing the pint and prancing about with the pool cue that we are both drunk and late on return to work.
On the weekend I decide to do next to nothing which is great as ive not really had a break since being home. Sunday night late we play some poker at Del's. Not played in months. Good to be back. All get a bit drunk and Derek freaks out thinking Craig has ran off....later find out he was lying at the end of the
bed the whole time….Del yer a tit.
Tuesday I go to the bier halle with dad for dinner. Staropramen and Spicy Sausage Pizza for me, Krusovice and Hawaiian Pizza for dad. Talk of applying for jobs. Ideas and ambitions. What is the meaning of life. All that jazz. Ewan joins us post-dinner - orders Staropramen - for chat about developing his cv more - Tich from 999 design suggests writing it like a cd - tracks etc. since it is cd cover art and design work that he wishes to pursue. few more drinks and ewan's girlfriend natalie arrives - raspberry beer - few more drinks and we grab a taxi home.
Wednesday is Bourne Ultimatum premiere. Jo Banana's very kindly skips the queue for me, working there and all, to get me a ticket. The queue is so long is queueing outside and round the corner to where Walkabout is. Film is excellent. Best action film i've seen in years - tops that of Casino Royale. Think bathroom fight scenes. Two words - Hardback Book.
Week 4
This week im with MNE working on a Runrig feature. It’s about the fans not the band. Work Work Work Runrig Runrig Work - Thursday we find we have 20 Gaelic Contributors and 15 Crazy Fanatic Foreigners travelling from around the world for 1 band playing live on home turf. They have interesting names of course. The Kockums amd the Kuhnt's. Were really keen on getting those two together. From a fan bellydancing to An Toll Dubh, to a blind Danish lady who has been to 97 Runrig Concerts. I mean I feel guilty seeing a band twice. Is she mad?!
Friday and we're off. I wake up to 9 missed calls on my phone. All from numbers I fail to recognise....until I read the texts - they are from Contributors to our show. I cross-reference (my attempt at being Jack Bauer cheers thanks) these missed numbers with other contributors and find they are all people we were unable to get in touch with the night before. Made the calls, we now have hmm 40 people meeting us for interviews within the space of an hour.....bring it.. Wellies - Check. Z1 - Check, Gear and laptop and other unnecessary items - Check. We leave MNE around 1. We leave an hour behind schedule. Which of course does not take into account the 2000 fans are also trying to get to the same place we are going to? Hence the traffic jams and generally crazy german/danish/italian dunno ALL of Europe fuck it. I was of course delighted, at the time , to meet many of these fanatics at the Green Welly Shop.
We arrive in Fort Augustus back of 6 and go for dinner. Asked at the bar if I want a drink I mistakingly automatically say yes, quick tap check and ask for a Kronenbourg Extra Cold. Around 3 seconds later I do a turn and realise im 1 of the 2 out of 10 people in our crew thats having a beer with their dinner - the FUCK am I doing? Jokes are made at the fact I have a beer - but of course they really think 'who the fuck's this guy? not that they are paying me anything apart from the food but....yeh not a good thing to do when your there with a crew as a trainee. All decent people though, which really matters when your filming festivals - it's all about getting into the swing of things - the atmosphere, the music, the banter. so that it shows clearly on camera. so that your not just a pro presenter that can make anything seem fabulous - this is actually something we're all there for and enjoying it - 11, quit a large crew might I add. Your asking the viewer to come party.
Wasn't much required in the first night though. Just covered bits and bobs from the Karaoke, some PTC (pieces to camera) with the presenters and plenty of GV's from campsite - day and night to compensate for any reason to have to cut out of interviews. show a nice pretty picture. whatever! Donald’s band Achnasheen Airport play also. They sound great. night ends at midnight. heating in car is so strong we all fall asleep. back to richmond house hotel and there's some kind of party. 8 piece random band. I drop off my bags in room and go join with rest of crew which very quickly changes from the planned 1 pint then bed to...4 pints and bed can wait. Few real old school characters in the bar. they get to stay late and attend a lock-in with us (the guests) as he is probably the main source of income that keeps their place going when business is low ie an alcoholic.
Saturday morning I get up early and watch The Good Shepherd starring Matt Damon, Robert De Niro and Angelina Jolie, Directed by Robert De Niro about the beginning of the CIA. Ill admit it looks great and Matt Damon is always great but it’s just a tad boring….not much happens in it in the end. I look outside and the weather is miserable. Pouring with rain. Wind. So I pack my waterproof’s. We pick up our Triple A (Access All Areas) passes and head backstage, setup our camera’s – we have 2 crews. We are told that the Vatersay Boys have been drinking through the night. A brief look into their porta-cabin and I see they are downing Port out of a Vase! We interview Julie Fowlis and Aberfeldy. Then head out into the main field just as people start to enter. A group of around 20 fans race from the back of the field all the way to the front barrier of the stage. Very nice guys but Runrig aren’t for hours yet! It’s still raining heavily. We notice immediately that the Merchandise Stall where we had arranged to meet all these fans…….wasn’t in the middle of the field beside the sound desks like it said on the map. Next problem was EVERYONE had fucking umbrella’s so was impossible to find anyone. Or more importantly it was impossible for them to find us.
Ended up having to just go around and do Vox Pops as only 3 or 4 of the contributors actually found us at that point as we waited beside the sound desks in the centre of the field. Pretty sure it worked out well in the end though. Camera I had didn’t have a waterproof cover so ended up using a plastic bag. Started getting wet on the Viewfinder so I had to just put it back in the van and shadow the Z1 Camera Crew instead. Spot a good number of people with Gaelic who do us a favour and say a little bit about why they are here etc. Got a lot of interesting festive footage with the mud fights etc and were able to get the camera up and stage and in front of the main barrier during Runrig’s set which was quite impressive but what can I say….im a Donnie fan in the end. During the encore I go to the toilets backstage to find Iain Bain (the drummer) beside me at the Urinal. We join the afterparty in the tent backstage after the gig and I meet Carrie from school who is a roadie with the Vatersay Boys. Good to see her not seen her in years. So nackered by this point. It’s been a long day. Head back to the hotel and a few drinks with the crew then I collapse in bed.
Sunday I wake up early but my phone got some water in it through the day so it crashed and shows the time on the screen as half 3. I panic and rush to get ready but then check my watch and I still have an hour in bed. Best news ever. We head back out to finish off the rest if Ishi and Cailean’s PTC’s then we drive back to Glasgow. I lose my sunglasses – Raybans bought brand new the Thursday before somewhere between the Hotel and home. FUCK.
Monday I go see Bourne Ultimatum again. This time with Simon. We have dinner in Bunker. Monday Munchies – 5 pound dinner. Not bad. Film is great again of course. Go for a drink in Pivo Pivo and witness a film crew filming Taggart in an office building across the road. Join Del in Brick next who’s there already for the pub quiz and he’s smashed talking about how great a barman he is and how he’s going to go to New York and prove us all wrong. Or live in China and teach English. One of the two. Tuesday I plan Fridays trip to Edinburgh Museums.
Wednesday I hear Tarantino will be in Glasgow for a Q&A in September. Tickets went on sale the day before and sold out minutes after. Still trying to get a hold of a ticket before he’s here in 2 weeks. I go to Kelvingrove Museum and do a Recce – check out whats good and whats not. There’s millions of stuff but I just pick out the stuff that stands out – Dali’s Christ on the Cross, Rembrandt, Van Gough and a whole number of statue’s and antiques. Today im back there again just to finish taking notes on everything I was looking at. About 10 pages worth in the end. Tomorrow I go through to Edinburgh and visit 3 museums. Going to be chaos considering there are currently 2 festivals also running there at the same time. Might go see a few shows while im there. Kirsty’s coming down for the weekend so should be good . Month left in my course and it’s all starting to get crazy. Have to send off some of my work over the last 6 months to Catriona as evidence. To email Chris Young my CV with ideas and aspirations. Fingers crossed ill get some good advice from that. Still to hear back from Sigma films. Filming on location almost every day of the week for the next 3 weeks.
Stay beautiful. Stay gold.
R :) x
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Short Film Announcement - 185 Days Ago
Ill keep this one short and sweet. Over a few Staropramen or 5 in the Bier Halle last night Davyd and I decided to combine our creative minds (pfft!) and begin further development on a number of our ideas for a Short Film set in and around Glasgow. Been holding back on the idea for just a little over 3 years now since my first short in Uni. So why not eh.
However, all is subject to change at this stage so all ideas and suggestions for us to steal from you and credit as our own we welcome with open arms. For those of you keen to be involved in any way at all, do get in touch.
Hope all is well
R :)
However, all is subject to change at this stage so all ideas and suggestions for us to steal from you and credit as our own we welcome with open arms. For those of you keen to be involved in any way at all, do get in touch.
Hope all is well
R :)
T in the Park, Heb Celt, Eilidh's 21st and Welcome Home - 195 Days ago
Once again I leave it a day or two then 3 weeks later it's a month on and still no blog update. Top of the deck of course is the news of my rather epic return to the home that is Glasgow. I got the call last week from my tutor that I was finishing off in Stornoway end of the week and returning home to work for Caledonia TV and with MNE on their feature on the Runrig Loch Ness concert at the Beat the Drum festival next month. But first things first. Lets not get too excited already.
T in the Park was unbelievable beyond explanation. Possibly the craziest week ever in preparation for it given I found out I was going (cheers Dale) 4 days prior to the event. Only way it worked out in the end was with a rather large thankyou to a ridiculous amount of people I used and abused (big thank you, you know who you are) to get me there in the end. It all sounded so easy of course. The flight down to Glasogw, taxi here, bus there and lets ge the party started. Of course I didnt take into account the fact the Airport had been car bombed a week prior. That the T shuttle bus stopped running an hour before my plane landed. That there was no special service to T just for me...not even Me guys. Could you believe it?
So my plane lands at 8.30 on the Friday night of T. The acts have already started (lilly Allen to be precise). I almost immediately hear of huge traffic jams en route to T and a few texts later find that almost everyone I know going is still stuck in that jam - many of those being people that have been travelling all day while I was still at work up in Stornoway - NOT a good sign! But I get a taxi anyway. Get in touch with Jo Banana's (my T partner in crime) to check she is well on her way to Buchanan). Our plan is either to taxi it (£55 if's clear roads all the way which is clearly not the case), or do get a bus to Edinburgh getting us closer to Balado. I meet my mum at Buchanan Bus station to exchange a small bag of valuables for 3 larger bags and of course a tent and wellies. Jo's bus is late but she stroles in casually just short of 40 seconds before the Edinburgh bus departs. Like the style.
Ruth's boyfriend Michael very kindly agrees to give us a lift from Edinburgh to as near to Balado as he can. Just as we start to see the big wheel and the main stage from a far we begin to debate how far away we actually are in this endless queue of traffic. Having not moved more than 10 inches in half an hour we decide to join a number of others and walk the remaining what was to be 5 miles (not 1. The big wheel ended up being very big and a lot further away than first anticipated...). I start to worry realising everyone else seems to have at least 3 or 4 large bags than us. I check at least 5 times within the space of 10 minutes that we have a tent - check / we have clothes - check / we have wellies - check. Im so glad of course that I decided not to buy that crate of beer as we'd never have been able to walk the distance or anywhere near it if I had!
It's now midnight and we arrive otside the T grounds where the mud is just starting to get interesting. I decide to change into wellies as im noticing more and more trainers that have been lost in the mud. Im expecting bodies next of poor little people who just werent prepared and were just too small to survive in this cruel cruel world. We get through the gates and collect our wristbands with ease and are told that White Red and Blue Campsites are full, Yellow and Green are flooded so.....aye best of luck!
We walk for another hour which seemed like 10 miles with all that mud up to our knees. I send round a multi text to everyone I know at T - half of whom still didnt make it there yet. I felt like we cheated or something having only travelled for less than half the time everyone else had. Decided to pitch up our tent in Purple 6 - in the dark. Some very kind people clearly noticed our immense struggle to pitch this tent - that wasnt even ours and had no instructions and offered to help us. Ended up being them who put it up as it's just been too many years since my Cubs/ Scouts days! We find out that we have missed all the Friday night acts - Arctic Monkeys, the Coral and Lilly Allen I wasnt too fussed about but sad to hear that we had missed Bloc Party.
The tent is up and we've heard from Ross Campbell - not seen him in like 2 years - and agree to meet him at the main gates. 2 hours later and he turns worse for wear shall we say but his usual self and full of comedy. We meet with his ex Sarah and go mud sledging. Walk around most of the campsite looking for a tent.....Ross's monkey?? and other such crazy things that still dont make any sense. Briefly met up with Morag also but think she was a little freaked out by Ross and his drawn-on-by-mud beard. Good to see her though! Entertaining as ever.
It's Saturday morning and we are just going to sleep in our rather impressive tent. Too bad the sleeping bag I had must have been toddler size as I failed miserably to fit in it! Or maybe im just getting fat? A few good cries and Zee's later and we are up again and ready for quite an eventful day - Arcade Fire, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Razorlight, James, James Morrison, The View, Albert Hammond Jr. Rufus Wainright and Brian Wilson and the special of them all - Amy MacDonald in the T-Break tent. Sure to be huge in the very near future. It was a little surreal choosing from so many good bands. Best band of that day though had to be Arcade Fire. Been dieing to see them live for years and they were just as good as I anticipated. Caught the last few songs by The Killers to end the night but can't say im their biggest fan. Had a bunch of Chav's who climbed the fence, keeping all of Purple Campsite awake all night. Talking absolute shite about the Germans invading, jumping on our tent and kicking a football at others. No idea how we managed to get to sleep with all their nonsense and the cold outside but by morning they were gone and the sun was shining.
Sunday arrives and we are set for another epic day of music - Snow Patrol, Scissor Sisters, Kings of Leon, The Fratellis, Paolo Nutini, Goo Goo Dolls, Editors, Badly Drawn Boy and even Avril Lavigne who's gig we turned up for early to get a good spot for Goo Goo Dolls on next on the main stage. We were a few rows from the front centre barrier before Goo Goo Dolls - lead singer singing passionately to a Blow-up Doll...guy standing beside me sang into the mic for Iris. I shook his hand. They played an amazing set. We remained at the front against the barrier for Paulo, Fratellis, the Kings - Jo caught a drumstick, ended up staying for the Scissor Sisters - missing the Editors, Queens of the Stone Age and Badly Drawn Boy. But we couldnt loose our place! Stayed there from midday to the end of the night! Exhausting but was worth it for a memorable hour and a half of Snowpatrol ending the night and the festival Who continued to run the show even with thousands of glowsticks / trainers / wellies being thrown at them and an entertaining negotiation between Gary Lightbody and the man in the Spiderman Suite to climb down from the ridiculously high speaker scaffolding in the middle of the crowd. He climbed down with plenty of police waiting at the bottom. The night ended with a lone piper without a mic but it didnt matter as the crowd sang it so loud you wouldnt have heard her play anything anyway. Fireworks were set off as Jo ran for the toilets after a 2 hour long must-have-been-painful wait.
We end the night by helping our new friends who helped pitch our tent finish off their alcohol so that they had less to carry home. We manage to leave the Campsite back of 9 for our bus home. Realise very quickly that ticket or no ticket we had to wait in a mile long queue. That plus endless traffic out of Balado resulted in me missing my plane back to Stornoway and my backshift at work that night. With my BA ticket being non-refundable and instantly cancelled in my failure to get there, had to buy a brand new one for a small fortune to fly back next morning to return on the 20th to Inverness for Eilidh's 21st.
My mum and my sister were up in Stornoway same week as the Heb Celt. Was filming at the Heb Celt on the Friday for a Rapal feature then caught the end of the Seth Lakeman set and walked out halfway through the Proclaimers set....sorry guys just not that fussed really. Had the car so went fishing with my sister catching some trout which impressed the granny and had a visit to Dal Mor, one of the nicest beaches on the Island. Mum and Sister left on the Saturday. Decided to make use of my Press Pass and headed down with Joanne to catch the Peatbog Fairies - an odd mixture of celtic music and dance. I was rather impressed actually. Then after meeting with Jane from MacTV and her friends went back to the flat for a few drinks and decided to blag my way into the Festival Club with a press pass. So funny since we were told a number of times we wouldnt get in. Yas. Only caught last 20 minutes of Skerryvore's set but was worth it. Met Janice Ann on her way out but she was so smashed I dont think she'll remember me saying anything to me. Can't say I was that impressed with Heb Celt Festival. May seem amazing for the Islanders but it's hard to appreciate any festival given I had only recently returned from T in the Park - the biggest and arguably the best in the country.
The news of me leaving Stornoway was hard for my gran to understand at first but I made time to get over there on the Thursday night after a nice lunch treat from the BBC that day at the Thai restaurant. Bought a bottle of wine for my gran and a bottle of Grouse for my Great Uncle. Alcohol is the answer for all of life's problems. Explained that its about my future. That other opportunities arise. Working at Cale TV in Glasgow was just one I couldnt say no to. Joanne asked me on the Thursday night if Stornoway changed me. Did it? Don't think I have the intelligence to answer that question but id like to think it did in a way. Certainly moving into a flat and fending for myself so far from home was far more challenging than if you compare to the initial plans of moving out into a flat with mates in Glasgow. Bit of a culture shock also but think I remained sane from my Air Discount Schemed fortnightly flights home. Expensive but worth it. Been quite the jetsetter over the last few months. So was rather gutted giving away our dream flat to Colette and Chris(straight swap with Joanne and I) but saves at least £750 of rent pay to the flat we no longer live in.
Jesus christ this blog is taking me FOREVER to right but I think im almost there. Friday was my last day in Stornoway. Half day at work was great. a brief handover with the Rapal team then off to the pub with Niall Iain in the Carlton Beer Garden. Free of any luggage. All 6 bags, 2 of Joanne's and my Big TV all Heb Haulaged set to arrive that night and Monday. Had a good few drinks with Niall Iain. Shame I didnt get to see more often in my time working here. Was almost persuaded to cancel flights and stay for the BBC Barbeque but I had Eilidh's 21st to attend to and 5 mintues to get to the Airport. On arrival at the Airport I quickly find out that my plane is delayed and join Calum and Seonag in the lounge. Next minute we're drinking Gin and continue to do so on the plane over. They very kindly give me a lift to the bus station and im sure to miss them along with other but will try my best to keep in touch in the days to come.
I catch my bus to Dingwall and drop off my bags at the B&B. Steven very kindly picks me up to take me to Oscars with the party's already started. Im greeted by the TV course upon arrival and hand Eilidh her bottle of Moet Rose and wish her a happy birthday. I go chat with the ever-entertaining Donald and help guard the Buffet. Next I know it im freestyling on he dancefloor to some mixture of Ceilidh music with Eilidh and Kirsty. As I fall asleep on the couch in Eilidh's house drinking someone elses beer I very quickly realise im not going to make this magical Megabus home that leaves in like 2 hours. But no matter as ive no rush to get home and dont intend to sleep anytime soon. I end up getting the 4pm bus from Inverness and arrive home back of 9. Steak for Dinner. Welcome home.
Begin to watch the Aviator with the family but halfway through im called out to a party by Ewan down at Devonshire Gardens. Shona's must-be-loaded sister asked her to look after her apartment with a TV bigger than my house and a grand hall longer than my street. Maroon carpets Chandeliers and all that comes with it. Few drinks and usual chat with Ewan Stu and others who's names ive already forgotten. It's good to be home. I dont intent to leave anytime soon. A week off which is already overbooked with absolute mayhem. Can't wait.
Roll on Glasgow
R x
T in the Park was unbelievable beyond explanation. Possibly the craziest week ever in preparation for it given I found out I was going (cheers Dale) 4 days prior to the event. Only way it worked out in the end was with a rather large thankyou to a ridiculous amount of people I used and abused (big thank you, you know who you are) to get me there in the end. It all sounded so easy of course. The flight down to Glasogw, taxi here, bus there and lets ge the party started. Of course I didnt take into account the fact the Airport had been car bombed a week prior. That the T shuttle bus stopped running an hour before my plane landed. That there was no special service to T just for me...not even Me guys. Could you believe it?
So my plane lands at 8.30 on the Friday night of T. The acts have already started (lilly Allen to be precise). I almost immediately hear of huge traffic jams en route to T and a few texts later find that almost everyone I know going is still stuck in that jam - many of those being people that have been travelling all day while I was still at work up in Stornoway - NOT a good sign! But I get a taxi anyway. Get in touch with Jo Banana's (my T partner in crime) to check she is well on her way to Buchanan). Our plan is either to taxi it (£55 if's clear roads all the way which is clearly not the case), or do get a bus to Edinburgh getting us closer to Balado. I meet my mum at Buchanan Bus station to exchange a small bag of valuables for 3 larger bags and of course a tent and wellies. Jo's bus is late but she stroles in casually just short of 40 seconds before the Edinburgh bus departs. Like the style.
Ruth's boyfriend Michael very kindly agrees to give us a lift from Edinburgh to as near to Balado as he can. Just as we start to see the big wheel and the main stage from a far we begin to debate how far away we actually are in this endless queue of traffic. Having not moved more than 10 inches in half an hour we decide to join a number of others and walk the remaining what was to be 5 miles (not 1. The big wheel ended up being very big and a lot further away than first anticipated...). I start to worry realising everyone else seems to have at least 3 or 4 large bags than us. I check at least 5 times within the space of 10 minutes that we have a tent - check / we have clothes - check / we have wellies - check. Im so glad of course that I decided not to buy that crate of beer as we'd never have been able to walk the distance or anywhere near it if I had!
It's now midnight and we arrive otside the T grounds where the mud is just starting to get interesting. I decide to change into wellies as im noticing more and more trainers that have been lost in the mud. Im expecting bodies next of poor little people who just werent prepared and were just too small to survive in this cruel cruel world. We get through the gates and collect our wristbands with ease and are told that White Red and Blue Campsites are full, Yellow and Green are flooded so.....aye best of luck!
We walk for another hour which seemed like 10 miles with all that mud up to our knees. I send round a multi text to everyone I know at T - half of whom still didnt make it there yet. I felt like we cheated or something having only travelled for less than half the time everyone else had. Decided to pitch up our tent in Purple 6 - in the dark. Some very kind people clearly noticed our immense struggle to pitch this tent - that wasnt even ours and had no instructions and offered to help us. Ended up being them who put it up as it's just been too many years since my Cubs/ Scouts days! We find out that we have missed all the Friday night acts - Arctic Monkeys, the Coral and Lilly Allen I wasnt too fussed about but sad to hear that we had missed Bloc Party.
The tent is up and we've heard from Ross Campbell - not seen him in like 2 years - and agree to meet him at the main gates. 2 hours later and he turns worse for wear shall we say but his usual self and full of comedy. We meet with his ex Sarah and go mud sledging. Walk around most of the campsite looking for a tent.....Ross's monkey?? and other such crazy things that still dont make any sense. Briefly met up with Morag also but think she was a little freaked out by Ross and his drawn-on-by-mud beard. Good to see her though! Entertaining as ever.
It's Saturday morning and we are just going to sleep in our rather impressive tent. Too bad the sleeping bag I had must have been toddler size as I failed miserably to fit in it! Or maybe im just getting fat? A few good cries and Zee's later and we are up again and ready for quite an eventful day - Arcade Fire, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Razorlight, James, James Morrison, The View, Albert Hammond Jr. Rufus Wainright and Brian Wilson and the special of them all - Amy MacDonald in the T-Break tent. Sure to be huge in the very near future. It was a little surreal choosing from so many good bands. Best band of that day though had to be Arcade Fire. Been dieing to see them live for years and they were just as good as I anticipated. Caught the last few songs by The Killers to end the night but can't say im their biggest fan. Had a bunch of Chav's who climbed the fence, keeping all of Purple Campsite awake all night. Talking absolute shite about the Germans invading, jumping on our tent and kicking a football at others. No idea how we managed to get to sleep with all their nonsense and the cold outside but by morning they were gone and the sun was shining.
Sunday arrives and we are set for another epic day of music - Snow Patrol, Scissor Sisters, Kings of Leon, The Fratellis, Paolo Nutini, Goo Goo Dolls, Editors, Badly Drawn Boy and even Avril Lavigne who's gig we turned up for early to get a good spot for Goo Goo Dolls on next on the main stage. We were a few rows from the front centre barrier before Goo Goo Dolls - lead singer singing passionately to a Blow-up Doll...guy standing beside me sang into the mic for Iris. I shook his hand. They played an amazing set. We remained at the front against the barrier for Paulo, Fratellis, the Kings - Jo caught a drumstick, ended up staying for the Scissor Sisters - missing the Editors, Queens of the Stone Age and Badly Drawn Boy. But we couldnt loose our place! Stayed there from midday to the end of the night! Exhausting but was worth it for a memorable hour and a half of Snowpatrol ending the night and the festival Who continued to run the show even with thousands of glowsticks / trainers / wellies being thrown at them and an entertaining negotiation between Gary Lightbody and the man in the Spiderman Suite to climb down from the ridiculously high speaker scaffolding in the middle of the crowd. He climbed down with plenty of police waiting at the bottom. The night ended with a lone piper without a mic but it didnt matter as the crowd sang it so loud you wouldnt have heard her play anything anyway. Fireworks were set off as Jo ran for the toilets after a 2 hour long must-have-been-painful wait.
We end the night by helping our new friends who helped pitch our tent finish off their alcohol so that they had less to carry home. We manage to leave the Campsite back of 9 for our bus home. Realise very quickly that ticket or no ticket we had to wait in a mile long queue. That plus endless traffic out of Balado resulted in me missing my plane back to Stornoway and my backshift at work that night. With my BA ticket being non-refundable and instantly cancelled in my failure to get there, had to buy a brand new one for a small fortune to fly back next morning to return on the 20th to Inverness for Eilidh's 21st.
My mum and my sister were up in Stornoway same week as the Heb Celt. Was filming at the Heb Celt on the Friday for a Rapal feature then caught the end of the Seth Lakeman set and walked out halfway through the Proclaimers set....sorry guys just not that fussed really. Had the car so went fishing with my sister catching some trout which impressed the granny and had a visit to Dal Mor, one of the nicest beaches on the Island. Mum and Sister left on the Saturday. Decided to make use of my Press Pass and headed down with Joanne to catch the Peatbog Fairies - an odd mixture of celtic music and dance. I was rather impressed actually. Then after meeting with Jane from MacTV and her friends went back to the flat for a few drinks and decided to blag my way into the Festival Club with a press pass. So funny since we were told a number of times we wouldnt get in. Yas. Only caught last 20 minutes of Skerryvore's set but was worth it. Met Janice Ann on her way out but she was so smashed I dont think she'll remember me saying anything to me. Can't say I was that impressed with Heb Celt Festival. May seem amazing for the Islanders but it's hard to appreciate any festival given I had only recently returned from T in the Park - the biggest and arguably the best in the country.
The news of me leaving Stornoway was hard for my gran to understand at first but I made time to get over there on the Thursday night after a nice lunch treat from the BBC that day at the Thai restaurant. Bought a bottle of wine for my gran and a bottle of Grouse for my Great Uncle. Alcohol is the answer for all of life's problems. Explained that its about my future. That other opportunities arise. Working at Cale TV in Glasgow was just one I couldnt say no to. Joanne asked me on the Thursday night if Stornoway changed me. Did it? Don't think I have the intelligence to answer that question but id like to think it did in a way. Certainly moving into a flat and fending for myself so far from home was far more challenging than if you compare to the initial plans of moving out into a flat with mates in Glasgow. Bit of a culture shock also but think I remained sane from my Air Discount Schemed fortnightly flights home. Expensive but worth it. Been quite the jetsetter over the last few months. So was rather gutted giving away our dream flat to Colette and Chris(straight swap with Joanne and I) but saves at least £750 of rent pay to the flat we no longer live in.
Jesus christ this blog is taking me FOREVER to right but I think im almost there. Friday was my last day in Stornoway. Half day at work was great. a brief handover with the Rapal team then off to the pub with Niall Iain in the Carlton Beer Garden. Free of any luggage. All 6 bags, 2 of Joanne's and my Big TV all Heb Haulaged set to arrive that night and Monday. Had a good few drinks with Niall Iain. Shame I didnt get to see more often in my time working here. Was almost persuaded to cancel flights and stay for the BBC Barbeque but I had Eilidh's 21st to attend to and 5 mintues to get to the Airport. On arrival at the Airport I quickly find out that my plane is delayed and join Calum and Seonag in the lounge. Next minute we're drinking Gin and continue to do so on the plane over. They very kindly give me a lift to the bus station and im sure to miss them along with other but will try my best to keep in touch in the days to come.
I catch my bus to Dingwall and drop off my bags at the B&B. Steven very kindly picks me up to take me to Oscars with the party's already started. Im greeted by the TV course upon arrival and hand Eilidh her bottle of Moet Rose and wish her a happy birthday. I go chat with the ever-entertaining Donald and help guard the Buffet. Next I know it im freestyling on he dancefloor to some mixture of Ceilidh music with Eilidh and Kirsty. As I fall asleep on the couch in Eilidh's house drinking someone elses beer I very quickly realise im not going to make this magical Megabus home that leaves in like 2 hours. But no matter as ive no rush to get home and dont intend to sleep anytime soon. I end up getting the 4pm bus from Inverness and arrive home back of 9. Steak for Dinner. Welcome home.
Begin to watch the Aviator with the family but halfway through im called out to a party by Ewan down at Devonshire Gardens. Shona's must-be-loaded sister asked her to look after her apartment with a TV bigger than my house and a grand hall longer than my street. Maroon carpets Chandeliers and all that comes with it. Few drinks and usual chat with Ewan Stu and others who's names ive already forgotten. It's good to be home. I dont intent to leave anytime soon. A week off which is already overbooked with absolute mayhem. Can't wait.
Roll on Glasgow
R x
St Kilda, Youngfilms Placement and After Party - 221 Days Ago
I feel so ill.....but no wonder. Think i've drank the recommended weekly alcohol intake daily for the last 4 days straight. So, on Ewan's grand entrance to Stornoway after over a decade since his last visit here we were off to work on the St Kilda project. In short, a play broadcast live on the web across the world. Ewan and I given the glorious title 'Cable Bashers' or in my case 'crowd control' as I had a guy hold the cable for me - luxury. Also, with news of Ewan recieving a second class honors in his BA in Digital Arts and Animation - bring out the Champagne!
We were keeping the surrounding area of the two camera's mounted on peds clear on the main floor with the ability(aye right) to move around anywhere in the studio. That is of course before you add 250 people and then start moving almost every section of the stage throughout the 1.5 hour long play. Madness, but long story short it was rather impressive considering how fed up we were after 2 nights of such fun. 3 for me as I filmed the rehearsal Wednesday night for the director to script the show the next day.
Thursday night we started at MacNeils for open mic night but we got there late so it was so crowded (as always) we decided to go to the Lewis. Met with some of the large group of SMO now home. Been a long day though so dont stay out too long. Go back to flat where we have a crate of Miller waiting. Manage to get them out of the fridge but wake up next day with the bottle still sitting there on the table unopened. Ewan then tells of how he went sleepwalking into flatmate Joanne's room in the middle of the night. We cross paths later on in the day and no eye contact or any words are exchanged - think we might have made a bit too much noise last night,
Friday morning I wake up with a call from Ishbel - she gives news of me not getting the Internship...but that Chris was impressed and is offering a placement with Youngfilms. Once again, bring out the Champagne! During the day still wasted after night before we celebrate and go for lunch at HS1 (again, but this time they get Ewan's order right) and keep coming up with shit loads of random ideas - generally the most offensive things we could possibly say/do while amongst the crowd during the live broadcast of the play. We found this hilarious of course but don;t think our fellow HS1 diners were so impressed with our language. Swearing that is, not Gaelic.
Friday night was when all the fun really started. After Party in an Lanntair after the show. Ceilidh where we met Marina, Janice Anne, Michelle and Catriona. Noone was dancing so we finished our drinks and left to go to the Heb for a laugh but it was shut so we go to the Lewis. We don't stay long though before moving on. Plus worst move ever a girl seated nearby asks what we do and I say BBC and we end up having some EMO guy who loves himself saying he wants to be famous - FUCK OFF
We end up in the Clachan but on the way I spot Sarah Rankin who I recognise pretty much from Bebo so I drunkenly tell her this and she sees it as an offer to join us for a drink. Close up im instantly not impressed that I said a word to her so we buy her and her mate shots and lose them. We watch Marina......dance.
End up getting chucked out...cant remember why but bouncer let the girls back in but not us so after a moment of rage I just walk Ewan back to the Royal where he is yet to stay in the room his dad paid for. I go back and find Janice Anne Marina and Catriona and we stumble back to the flat with the food order(not theirs) they grabbed from the takeaway. The girls are so drunk they just start falling asleep so I recommend a taxi and off they go.
Saturday is of course the big one. BBC now gone its the big show finale without camera's - we dont attend. 3 days of it in a row is enough so thanks but no thanks. We go out for Dinner at Eleven with the SMO girls. Cajun Chicken is so spicy I almost cried. One of the girls serving is friend that was with Sarah Rankin. We claim she owes us a drink but will probably never see her again. Infact thats a lie, ill probably see her out this weekend. Stornoway isnt that big....
The girls go to the big show without us. Ewan and I go back to the flat, finish the beers down half of our litre of Vodka far too quickly while listening to Massive Attack and talking away about random nonsense. We venture back out to join the girls after the show. Do the usual pub circuit with average banter until we reach the Sea Angling....not my choice but everyone was there. Can't remember everything from here but we met Marina Stuart and Rob in there and played terrible at Pool upstairs. Also met Iain who's up here on placement at the hospital but since I know him through friend of friend of friend of friend conversation is limited and he's generally freaked out and doesnt understand Ewan's humour. A fight breaks out on the dancefloor so we do our usual and investigate almost end up in the middle of it. I give Janice Anne her phone back (she forgot it in flat night before) and we hear of St Kilda Afterparty and drunkenly leave to go find it.
10 phone calls later and we're there. Uninvited along with almost all of the big names in the Gaelic world. Kathleen Macinnes, Cathy Ann Macphee, Calum MacAulay, Carina Macleod, Catriona Lexy Campbell, Donald John Macleod, Kenny Iain Macrae, Ruairidh Maciver, Simon Mackenzie, Alasdair White, James Graham, Jenna Cumming, Mairi Louise Napier to name a few. Could there be a better chance to piss that many people off at the same party? We get started by helping ourself to some wine - at first straight out of the box but then start recieving an absurd amount of abuse, mainly directed at Ewan from some random woman. I ask the guy next to me who this nut is and he tells me she's his mother.
We feel the need to find more people so go into the next room and start chatting away to Kathleen MacInnes - it's a little vague what I say here but clearly from lack of sleep and too much drink I struggle with any meaningful Gaelic. I recieve a gold star for efford though. Plus think she just loved myself and EOH's charm.....or maybe not. Ewan recieving career advice from Cathy Anne MacPhee has to top them all though! Next up Jenna Cummings. I fail to explain to her about how we met before at a Gaelic debate thing in school.....so yeh that fails, we head upstairs. In a room is Catriona Lexi and a band playing their music. They are crap so we feel the need to sit in laugh to ourselves by how bad they are but are too drunk to say anything out loud and seem to stay in this room where they're all doing pot for at least an hour.
We decide to go back downstairs and everyone is gone. Except Mairi Louise Napier and Simon MacKenzie outside. Think Ewan required a cigarette was our originally reason for joining them outside in the cold but it's around 5am by now and light outside. End up chatting away to Simon about the future of Gaelic - how its came too late. He tries to take the piss out of Ewan in Gaelic forgetting I speak it fluently so we tear him apart....so much he cant handle us and ends up leaving. Mairi Louise just smiled the whole time and mumbled stuff randomly throughout the debate or whatever was going on - aye whatever mate.
Late night...morning rather. Wake up on the couch in the flat freezing cold and realise Ewan's got the bed - dick. Realise we're running out of time and go to HS1 - again for a drunkenly lunch before Ewan's flight at 5. Waiter is shocked that we are drinking - again and so early. It's party time though and we just slowly recall all the madness from the night before. Including so many things we could have said that will have to be kept for next time - from the classic do you know who I am? approach to claiming to be the Brad Pitt of Gaelic TV (just not yet as channel is still to start). Plane leaves, bye EOH. Few tears on the walk back to the lat. I go back to bed. It's now Tuesday morning and im still recovering.
Lessons Learned:
Don't tell anyone you work for the BBC
Never speak Gaelic after 5 pints. You think you sound great but your talking a loada shite
Wear dark clothes if you expect people not to complain when pushed out of the way for the camera
Always attend after-parties Uninvited
Don't order a double burger from HS1
R :)
We were keeping the surrounding area of the two camera's mounted on peds clear on the main floor with the ability(aye right) to move around anywhere in the studio. That is of course before you add 250 people and then start moving almost every section of the stage throughout the 1.5 hour long play. Madness, but long story short it was rather impressive considering how fed up we were after 2 nights of such fun. 3 for me as I filmed the rehearsal Wednesday night for the director to script the show the next day.
Thursday night we started at MacNeils for open mic night but we got there late so it was so crowded (as always) we decided to go to the Lewis. Met with some of the large group of SMO now home. Been a long day though so dont stay out too long. Go back to flat where we have a crate of Miller waiting. Manage to get them out of the fridge but wake up next day with the bottle still sitting there on the table unopened. Ewan then tells of how he went sleepwalking into flatmate Joanne's room in the middle of the night. We cross paths later on in the day and no eye contact or any words are exchanged - think we might have made a bit too much noise last night,
Friday morning I wake up with a call from Ishbel - she gives news of me not getting the Internship...but that Chris was impressed and is offering a placement with Youngfilms. Once again, bring out the Champagne! During the day still wasted after night before we celebrate and go for lunch at HS1 (again, but this time they get Ewan's order right) and keep coming up with shit loads of random ideas - generally the most offensive things we could possibly say/do while amongst the crowd during the live broadcast of the play. We found this hilarious of course but don;t think our fellow HS1 diners were so impressed with our language. Swearing that is, not Gaelic.
Friday night was when all the fun really started. After Party in an Lanntair after the show. Ceilidh where we met Marina, Janice Anne, Michelle and Catriona. Noone was dancing so we finished our drinks and left to go to the Heb for a laugh but it was shut so we go to the Lewis. We don't stay long though before moving on. Plus worst move ever a girl seated nearby asks what we do and I say BBC and we end up having some EMO guy who loves himself saying he wants to be famous - FUCK OFF
We end up in the Clachan but on the way I spot Sarah Rankin who I recognise pretty much from Bebo so I drunkenly tell her this and she sees it as an offer to join us for a drink. Close up im instantly not impressed that I said a word to her so we buy her and her mate shots and lose them. We watch Marina......dance.
End up getting chucked out...cant remember why but bouncer let the girls back in but not us so after a moment of rage I just walk Ewan back to the Royal where he is yet to stay in the room his dad paid for. I go back and find Janice Anne Marina and Catriona and we stumble back to the flat with the food order(not theirs) they grabbed from the takeaway. The girls are so drunk they just start falling asleep so I recommend a taxi and off they go.
Saturday is of course the big one. BBC now gone its the big show finale without camera's - we dont attend. 3 days of it in a row is enough so thanks but no thanks. We go out for Dinner at Eleven with the SMO girls. Cajun Chicken is so spicy I almost cried. One of the girls serving is friend that was with Sarah Rankin. We claim she owes us a drink but will probably never see her again. Infact thats a lie, ill probably see her out this weekend. Stornoway isnt that big....
The girls go to the big show without us. Ewan and I go back to the flat, finish the beers down half of our litre of Vodka far too quickly while listening to Massive Attack and talking away about random nonsense. We venture back out to join the girls after the show. Do the usual pub circuit with average banter until we reach the Sea Angling....not my choice but everyone was there. Can't remember everything from here but we met Marina Stuart and Rob in there and played terrible at Pool upstairs. Also met Iain who's up here on placement at the hospital but since I know him through friend of friend of friend of friend conversation is limited and he's generally freaked out and doesnt understand Ewan's humour. A fight breaks out on the dancefloor so we do our usual and investigate almost end up in the middle of it. I give Janice Anne her phone back (she forgot it in flat night before) and we hear of St Kilda Afterparty and drunkenly leave to go find it.
10 phone calls later and we're there. Uninvited along with almost all of the big names in the Gaelic world. Kathleen Macinnes, Cathy Ann Macphee, Calum MacAulay, Carina Macleod, Catriona Lexy Campbell, Donald John Macleod, Kenny Iain Macrae, Ruairidh Maciver, Simon Mackenzie, Alasdair White, James Graham, Jenna Cumming, Mairi Louise Napier to name a few. Could there be a better chance to piss that many people off at the same party? We get started by helping ourself to some wine - at first straight out of the box but then start recieving an absurd amount of abuse, mainly directed at Ewan from some random woman. I ask the guy next to me who this nut is and he tells me she's his mother.
We feel the need to find more people so go into the next room and start chatting away to Kathleen MacInnes - it's a little vague what I say here but clearly from lack of sleep and too much drink I struggle with any meaningful Gaelic. I recieve a gold star for efford though. Plus think she just loved myself and EOH's charm.....or maybe not. Ewan recieving career advice from Cathy Anne MacPhee has to top them all though! Next up Jenna Cummings. I fail to explain to her about how we met before at a Gaelic debate thing in school.....so yeh that fails, we head upstairs. In a room is Catriona Lexi and a band playing their music. They are crap so we feel the need to sit in laugh to ourselves by how bad they are but are too drunk to say anything out loud and seem to stay in this room where they're all doing pot for at least an hour.
We decide to go back downstairs and everyone is gone. Except Mairi Louise Napier and Simon MacKenzie outside. Think Ewan required a cigarette was our originally reason for joining them outside in the cold but it's around 5am by now and light outside. End up chatting away to Simon about the future of Gaelic - how its came too late. He tries to take the piss out of Ewan in Gaelic forgetting I speak it fluently so we tear him apart....so much he cant handle us and ends up leaving. Mairi Louise just smiled the whole time and mumbled stuff randomly throughout the debate or whatever was going on - aye whatever mate.
Late night...morning rather. Wake up on the couch in the flat freezing cold and realise Ewan's got the bed - dick. Realise we're running out of time and go to HS1 - again for a drunkenly lunch before Ewan's flight at 5. Waiter is shocked that we are drinking - again and so early. It's party time though and we just slowly recall all the madness from the night before. Including so many things we could have said that will have to be kept for next time - from the classic do you know who I am? approach to claiming to be the Brad Pitt of Gaelic TV (just not yet as channel is still to start). Plane leaves, bye EOH. Few tears on the walk back to the lat. I go back to bed. It's now Tuesday morning and im still recovering.
Lessons Learned:
Don't tell anyone you work for the BBC
Never speak Gaelic after 5 pints. You think you sound great but your talking a loada shite
Wear dark clothes if you expect people not to complain when pushed out of the way for the camera
Always attend after-parties Uninvited
Don't order a double burger from HS1
R :)
Uist Week, Paintball Pains, Skye-Ness Adventures and St Kilda Project - 227 days ago
It's VERY long.....you've been warned!
Definitions of Crazy:
brainsick: affected with madness or insanity; "a man who had gone mad"
foolish; totally unsound; "a crazy scheme"; "half-baked ideas"; "a screwball proposal without a prayer of working"
marked by foolish or unreasoning fondness; "she was crazy about him"; "gaga over the rock group's new album"; "he was infatuated with her"
possessed by inordinate excitement; "the crowd went crazy"; "was crazy to try his new bicycle"
bizarre or fantastic; "had a crazy dream"; "wore a crazy hat"
intensely enthusiastic about or preoccupied with; "crazy about cars and racing"
someone deranged and possibly dangerous
Think the last one fits best. Thought it was about time I updated this thing as quite frankly I can't afford to call and text each and every one of you chipmunks what exactly is happening these days in the crazy world of me. Plus of course the simple fact I have a slight obcession with Blog Entries ever since my rambling travel blog days.
So - where do I start? Last week I was filming behind the scenes and session footage for a showreel to be used on the BBC website. Much fun beginning the week with Rapal on Monday - some great music from Jamie Campbell, Sounds Like April and Pipe Fusion. Didn't stay whole week though so went back to Lewis for Tuesday Wednesday to return again on the Thursday to setup for yet some more sessions and behind the scenes stuff for Program Choinnich/Morig and Caithream Ciuil. This was the longest day of filming and starting early morning after a night of being fed alcohol (for free of course) by our scary hotel owner who I think wanted to marry me by the end of the night - poor guy's just a little lonely out there in the middle of nowhere without his wife - still no excuse for being aff yer rocket though eh pal.
I thought id do the right thing - waited until he went to his room to get fuck knows what then made for my room WITH the bottle of wine of course. Who knows how I made it all the way down that corridor as I was pure burst as old friend Michael Barrymore (not the star with a dead body in his pool) used to say. What followed as always was the good old drink and dial. I fell asleep on the phone waking up with it stuck to my ear while still holding on tightly to that bottle of wine now half spilt over the bed - fuck . Calum MacKinnon - guy from Randan - 's banter on the night and then day of filming certainly made up for it.
Anyway, next up is I put on a brave face and fly home from Benbecula for yet another eventful weekend. Friday night Bevvy and Banter with EOH can't be beaten. Slept for almost 3/4 of Saturday to make up for my last months long insomnia. Saturday night went out to Ashton Lane with Jo. Weekend of the West End Festival resulting in this being a DAFT choice. Then met with Derek and Colette in Jinty's. Good seeing them. Spoke a bit of Gaelic though which added to Jo Banana's permanent state of confused insanity. We then hitch the Campus Schoolbus to end up in the middle of a punch-up in Sauchiehall - warm welcome home as always to then go to Firewater where we all couldnt hear a word each other said due to the loud music but are drunk enough to just play nice and smile and nod. Crashed at Jo's M I L E S away in Newton Mearns. Cool kittens in the cupboard. Interesting 20 squid taxi the next morning after very little sleep for some Paintball. -
When I arrived home Iain was still asleep and Ruth was clearly hungover and not really knowing whats happening. But neither did I. Called Derek and Trains were fucked - nothing new so we were gonna taxi it and pick him up on the way. Here enters the man himself all clad in the Team Zissou hat. Bus journey to Delta Force was full of banter but I think I was still drunk at the time so don't really remember what was funny about it. It probably wasn't at all actually now I think about it. We enter the main holding area outside all the Arena's and quickly realise after scanning the Billboard that this is going to be a very expensive day.
The teams are chosen - Ruth, Iain and I are of course placed on the reject team with 4 girls, 2 czec guys that spoke no english and as always a big fat guy who lets just say isnt the most mobile and looked like he'd rather eat the paintballs rather than shoot them. Lot of anger there you know to let out all that rage on scrawny people like me - for being fat and all. Not me, the fatman. Derek, Mason and other wannabe pro's but some pretty damn good actually - all having played before of course. Team Blue, surprise surprise, all newbies. However, bring it on. Out comes the Credit Card - one Rambo pack please honey. All suited and booted like Mr. Paintbaws himself. Let the games begin - or ill stop you right there -long story short, our team lost all games(there are 2 games in each of the 6 arena's). Close quarter Battles, Bus Bombings, Pyramid's and Hut Invasions. Even though we only one like 1 game it was still great fun. Got to unload half of my rambo pack on derek in the Jungle Arena also so hell yeh that made my day alone. Paintball tip - bring shit loads of paintballs that you bought yourself CHEAP anywhere else. Think I took out a mortgage at the place the amount of times I had to go back and buy more Paintballs. With of course 3 dud Smoke grenades, a flash grenade that didnt even work.
Couldnt walk all day monday. Some nice pretty bruises on my arms that - after returning to work after a weekend home - all my workmates look at and just go he's from Glasgow..... I get a call Monday afternoon from Producer Chris Young about this film Internship im being considered for. Initially flying down to London for a panel interview with himself, Director and Simon Miller and Chief Exec of Soda Pictures. Nope not anymore, i've to go to his house in Skye to meet him instead. At this point everyones thinking yeh well that makes more sense being closer to home well AYE RIGHT yer havin' a laugh. It's the black spot of I dunno possibly all of Europe. Impossible to get to from anywhere - even on the Summer Timetable. Of all days of course, theres only a 11.50 ferry on a Tuesday from Tarbert to Uig. No ferry back later that day and no Wednesday morning ferry that I can get catch to then make it to work at least for a backshift.
So, 5 seconds away from me calling Daddy to borrow his private jet, I decide that my only option to do it in a day is to go back to Inverness on the bus after the Interview, meet Nina that night, stay I dunno SOMEWHERE then fly back on the Wednesday morning flight - Thats keeping it simple. I get the bus to Tarbert at 10 like a right happy bunny. All us well and I get ferry on time- then theres no Bus meeting the ferry at Uig. So do I wait until half 3 for the Bus heading towards Glasgow to then miss my interview cimpletely and the bus to Inverness? Useless. So I hitch to Portree then hitch again to halfway between Portree and Broadford. Random village don't ask me what it's called. I then flag a taxi - nice old guy named Davey takes me all the way to SMO Campus at a heavily discounted price. I go to the lap, fail to log in. Be all nicey nicey with the receptionist and she prints it out for me. Then im at Chris Young's house for the Interview im clearly not prepared for but fuck it - it actually went really well. He thinks that perhaps the Film Internship (learning how the undistry works and attending film festivals and help promote the debut feature Gaelic film Seachd) and that a placement with Youngfilms would maybe fit better into my category. Sure, why not. Said he'd be in touch. Interview ends abruptly however, as we are both late. I taxi it to the EI to then end up driving past Pol in his car at a layby where he can get mobile reception. We go to the EI which would initially have been only for 15 minutes but in not very much needed persuasion I get Tara and Pol to join the bandwaggon. We enjoy some quality fine dinning at the EI alongside MJ behind the bar. Few shots of Vodka and we're off the Inverness.
We arrive in Inverness at 10 and walk into Slice where Nina works. Much to her surprise given she had no idea that Tara and Pol were coming. The fact that she didn't notice us for the first 5 minutes added to the humour. Few beers later we take 5 in Hootenanny's and end up in Johnny Fox's where Doc Livingston is playing some very hish-standard covers. Interesting acoustic version of Gnarles Barkley's Crazy. I mention BBC Music Researcher and out comes the card. High on demand with gigs all round the country but he's certainly interested in being part of the show (Rapal) even though I may quite possibly be leaving very very soon. We have no accomodation, but Tara has a nice friendly cousin thats more than willing to allow us to invade her home far too late into into the early hours of Wednesday with an unopened bottle of Rose.
This has been a long day of course so after about half an hour of hardcore arguementative chat with Nina who wanted to go visit her sick boyfriend in Hospital - visiting hours at 3am eh NAW I fall asleep. Of course I do, it's what im best at when the night has only got started. Well, the morning technically. Great seeing them, but I wake up with Nina long gone and Pol and Tara saying bubye now on their slightly mental journey back to Skye to go straight a dh'obair (translation - work). I sleep for a bit longer forgetting the fact im in someones house ive never met. Awkwardly leave while somehow telepathically saying thanks for letting me crash. Pol texts saying theres a taxi rank up near Ogilvies if you turn LEFT after you leave the flat. So What do I do? Look at the sign blankly and fail to make the connection then go RIGHT which gave me a nice tour of I think at least half the city.
Taxi it to the Airport - have liquids in my hand luggage so the smelly women clearly raging about her job chucks my Shower Gel, Deoderant and Toothpaste(just bought). I mean clearly highly dangerous weapons of mass destruction that I considered on using to hijack the flight to list my demands from Stornoway police......stupid bint. Anyway, so I fly back to work. Jetsetter that I am. Told 5 minutes later that im filming Project Hiort rehearsals tonight. I'm involved with the project over the next 3 days but this comes as a surprise, yet a handy one as noone seems to know exactly whats going on with this rather HUGE European celebration of St Kilda (Hiort in Gaelic) or something. Here's a link to save me failing to explain what exactly the project is all about: http://www.stkilda.eu/
Think thats us about us up to date. Oh think of the amount of money ive saved eh. Although not really ive told almost everybody most of what ive written in the last week - dafty
Hope we are all well. Certainly if we were able to make it to the END
R x
Definitions of Crazy:
brainsick: affected with madness or insanity; "a man who had gone mad"
foolish; totally unsound; "a crazy scheme"; "half-baked ideas"; "a screwball proposal without a prayer of working"
marked by foolish or unreasoning fondness; "she was crazy about him"; "gaga over the rock group's new album"; "he was infatuated with her"
possessed by inordinate excitement; "the crowd went crazy"; "was crazy to try his new bicycle"
bizarre or fantastic; "had a crazy dream"; "wore a crazy hat"
intensely enthusiastic about or preoccupied with; "crazy about cars and racing"
someone deranged and possibly dangerous
Think the last one fits best. Thought it was about time I updated this thing as quite frankly I can't afford to call and text each and every one of you chipmunks what exactly is happening these days in the crazy world of me. Plus of course the simple fact I have a slight obcession with Blog Entries ever since my rambling travel blog days.
So - where do I start? Last week I was filming behind the scenes and session footage for a showreel to be used on the BBC website. Much fun beginning the week with Rapal on Monday - some great music from Jamie Campbell, Sounds Like April and Pipe Fusion. Didn't stay whole week though so went back to Lewis for Tuesday Wednesday to return again on the Thursday to setup for yet some more sessions and behind the scenes stuff for Program Choinnich/Morig and Caithream Ciuil. This was the longest day of filming and starting early morning after a night of being fed alcohol (for free of course) by our scary hotel owner who I think wanted to marry me by the end of the night - poor guy's just a little lonely out there in the middle of nowhere without his wife - still no excuse for being aff yer rocket though eh pal.
I thought id do the right thing - waited until he went to his room to get fuck knows what then made for my room WITH the bottle of wine of course. Who knows how I made it all the way down that corridor as I was pure burst as old friend Michael Barrymore (not the star with a dead body in his pool) used to say. What followed as always was the good old drink and dial. I fell asleep on the phone waking up with it stuck to my ear while still holding on tightly to that bottle of wine now half spilt over the bed - fuck . Calum MacKinnon - guy from Randan - 's banter on the night and then day of filming certainly made up for it.
Anyway, next up is I put on a brave face and fly home from Benbecula for yet another eventful weekend. Friday night Bevvy and Banter with EOH can't be beaten. Slept for almost 3/4 of Saturday to make up for my last months long insomnia. Saturday night went out to Ashton Lane with Jo. Weekend of the West End Festival resulting in this being a DAFT choice. Then met with Derek and Colette in Jinty's. Good seeing them. Spoke a bit of Gaelic though which added to Jo Banana's permanent state of confused insanity. We then hitch the Campus Schoolbus to end up in the middle of a punch-up in Sauchiehall - warm welcome home as always to then go to Firewater where we all couldnt hear a word each other said due to the loud music but are drunk enough to just play nice and smile and nod. Crashed at Jo's M I L E S away in Newton Mearns. Cool kittens in the cupboard. Interesting 20 squid taxi the next morning after very little sleep for some Paintball. -
When I arrived home Iain was still asleep and Ruth was clearly hungover and not really knowing whats happening. But neither did I. Called Derek and Trains were fucked - nothing new so we were gonna taxi it and pick him up on the way. Here enters the man himself all clad in the Team Zissou hat. Bus journey to Delta Force was full of banter but I think I was still drunk at the time so don't really remember what was funny about it. It probably wasn't at all actually now I think about it. We enter the main holding area outside all the Arena's and quickly realise after scanning the Billboard that this is going to be a very expensive day.
The teams are chosen - Ruth, Iain and I are of course placed on the reject team with 4 girls, 2 czec guys that spoke no english and as always a big fat guy who lets just say isnt the most mobile and looked like he'd rather eat the paintballs rather than shoot them. Lot of anger there you know to let out all that rage on scrawny people like me - for being fat and all. Not me, the fatman. Derek, Mason and other wannabe pro's but some pretty damn good actually - all having played before of course. Team Blue, surprise surprise, all newbies. However, bring it on. Out comes the Credit Card - one Rambo pack please honey. All suited and booted like Mr. Paintbaws himself. Let the games begin - or ill stop you right there -long story short, our team lost all games(there are 2 games in each of the 6 arena's). Close quarter Battles, Bus Bombings, Pyramid's and Hut Invasions. Even though we only one like 1 game it was still great fun. Got to unload half of my rambo pack on derek in the Jungle Arena also so hell yeh that made my day alone. Paintball tip - bring shit loads of paintballs that you bought yourself CHEAP anywhere else. Think I took out a mortgage at the place the amount of times I had to go back and buy more Paintballs. With of course 3 dud Smoke grenades, a flash grenade that didnt even work.
Couldnt walk all day monday. Some nice pretty bruises on my arms that - after returning to work after a weekend home - all my workmates look at and just go he's from Glasgow..... I get a call Monday afternoon from Producer Chris Young about this film Internship im being considered for. Initially flying down to London for a panel interview with himself, Director and Simon Miller and Chief Exec of Soda Pictures. Nope not anymore, i've to go to his house in Skye to meet him instead. At this point everyones thinking yeh well that makes more sense being closer to home well AYE RIGHT yer havin' a laugh. It's the black spot of I dunno possibly all of Europe. Impossible to get to from anywhere - even on the Summer Timetable. Of all days of course, theres only a 11.50 ferry on a Tuesday from Tarbert to Uig. No ferry back later that day and no Wednesday morning ferry that I can get catch to then make it to work at least for a backshift.
So, 5 seconds away from me calling Daddy to borrow his private jet, I decide that my only option to do it in a day is to go back to Inverness on the bus after the Interview, meet Nina that night, stay I dunno SOMEWHERE then fly back on the Wednesday morning flight - Thats keeping it simple. I get the bus to Tarbert at 10 like a right happy bunny. All us well and I get ferry on time- then theres no Bus meeting the ferry at Uig. So do I wait until half 3 for the Bus heading towards Glasgow to then miss my interview cimpletely and the bus to Inverness? Useless. So I hitch to Portree then hitch again to halfway between Portree and Broadford. Random village don't ask me what it's called. I then flag a taxi - nice old guy named Davey takes me all the way to SMO Campus at a heavily discounted price. I go to the lap, fail to log in. Be all nicey nicey with the receptionist and she prints it out for me. Then im at Chris Young's house for the Interview im clearly not prepared for but fuck it - it actually went really well. He thinks that perhaps the Film Internship (learning how the undistry works and attending film festivals and help promote the debut feature Gaelic film Seachd) and that a placement with Youngfilms would maybe fit better into my category. Sure, why not. Said he'd be in touch. Interview ends abruptly however, as we are both late. I taxi it to the EI to then end up driving past Pol in his car at a layby where he can get mobile reception. We go to the EI which would initially have been only for 15 minutes but in not very much needed persuasion I get Tara and Pol to join the bandwaggon. We enjoy some quality fine dinning at the EI alongside MJ behind the bar. Few shots of Vodka and we're off the Inverness.
We arrive in Inverness at 10 and walk into Slice where Nina works. Much to her surprise given she had no idea that Tara and Pol were coming. The fact that she didn't notice us for the first 5 minutes added to the humour. Few beers later we take 5 in Hootenanny's and end up in Johnny Fox's where Doc Livingston is playing some very hish-standard covers. Interesting acoustic version of Gnarles Barkley's Crazy. I mention BBC Music Researcher and out comes the card. High on demand with gigs all round the country but he's certainly interested in being part of the show (Rapal) even though I may quite possibly be leaving very very soon. We have no accomodation, but Tara has a nice friendly cousin thats more than willing to allow us to invade her home far too late into into the early hours of Wednesday with an unopened bottle of Rose.
This has been a long day of course so after about half an hour of hardcore arguementative chat with Nina who wanted to go visit her sick boyfriend in Hospital - visiting hours at 3am eh NAW I fall asleep. Of course I do, it's what im best at when the night has only got started. Well, the morning technically. Great seeing them, but I wake up with Nina long gone and Pol and Tara saying bubye now on their slightly mental journey back to Skye to go straight a dh'obair (translation - work). I sleep for a bit longer forgetting the fact im in someones house ive never met. Awkwardly leave while somehow telepathically saying thanks for letting me crash. Pol texts saying theres a taxi rank up near Ogilvies if you turn LEFT after you leave the flat. So What do I do? Look at the sign blankly and fail to make the connection then go RIGHT which gave me a nice tour of I think at least half the city.
Taxi it to the Airport - have liquids in my hand luggage so the smelly women clearly raging about her job chucks my Shower Gel, Deoderant and Toothpaste(just bought). I mean clearly highly dangerous weapons of mass destruction that I considered on using to hijack the flight to list my demands from Stornoway police......stupid bint. Anyway, so I fly back to work. Jetsetter that I am. Told 5 minutes later that im filming Project Hiort rehearsals tonight. I'm involved with the project over the next 3 days but this comes as a surprise, yet a handy one as noone seems to know exactly whats going on with this rather HUGE European celebration of St Kilda (Hiort in Gaelic) or something. Here's a link to save me failing to explain what exactly the project is all about: http://www.stkilda.eu/
Think thats us about us up to date. Oh think of the amount of money ive saved eh. Although not really ive told almost everybody most of what ive written in the last week - dafty
Hope we are all well. Certainly if we were able to make it to the END
R x
Skye Penthouse, Glasgow Kiss and Early Birds
Nothing beats a mini adventure. Decided on the weekend there to fly down to Glasgow to meet Daniel Angus and Ruth, then we drove up to Skye to the end of term Ceilidh at SMO. Arrived later than expected due to weather conditions on the way up but as always it hadn't all quite started until we got there. Was great seeing everyone again not seen them in weeks. Sarah was there too but I ignore her. Had a few dances then we all got transferred over to the pool room for the antics to continue. We had the Penthouse at the top of the Tower block so party continued there after the pool room antics until I eventually KO'd on the couch in the middle of Pol and Nina argueing about who knows what. Our initial plans were to leave at 5am the next morning so that Daniel could get down to Glasgow around 9 in time for starting work at 10. Aye right. He called in sick and we stayed up and partied of course. Was great fun.
So we stayed later and didnt get back down to Glasgow until 6, meaning I just had a quick dinner, changed my shirt still suited up then went out again, this time to another party with Ewan, Natalie and Derek. Started in a club called Kushion where we bought Moet and hung out with Davyd and his friends who I havent seen in over 5 months. Left that party earlier than would have liked though to go to Haddows to buy supplies - miller and some pear cider.
We head to an 80's themed house party. The party gets raided by a group of neds though, one started getting a little mouthy with John who was hosting the party he asked them nicely to leave. Things were getting a little intense in the corridor and I could sense something was going to happen so tried to get a couple of other guys in to help get them out. One of the guys kept asking to shake John's hand and apologize. John lets him, but he grabs his hand then headbuts him The guy almost broke his nose. Was right in front of me. Disgusting. No idea how the wee scrawny piece of scum made it out of the flat alive.
John's brother 'Genga' is built like an army of tanks with bigger arms than the earths diameter. But there is a group of them and he doesnt know what they are carrying so, much to everyones surprise he does nothing. One of the guy that did it's mate comes back over to 'make the peace' while holding two bottles. The Police about then so he drops them and runs. We knew of a party the guy might have went to at 1 Byres Road - he invited us and we nearly went, just before he gave John a Glasgow Kiss -, they went and they caught him. Put him in the cells. They had to go via another disruption though as there were guys running around with Knives and Axes in another part of town - Welcome to Glasgow
They are passing some kind of lethal concoction around at the party that tastes like bleach. Then this girl Jo comes up and starts stabbing me in the eye with eye liner to make me 'more 80's looking' Party starts to die off so we head to another down the road. We invade the kitchen but it all a bit pish everyone was really drunk so I finished my long discussion with a guy that dressed and looked like Vincent in Pulp Fiction but wouldnt shut up about Reservoir Dogs and went home.
Woke up next morning and there's Jo. Hello. Sure I remember everything but theres always that morning after element of what the fuck that takes a couple of minutes to refresh your memory. Spent all Sunday morning feeling hungover, but had a shower and I was bouncing down the street. This feeling didnt last long though. Met my friend Simon initially for lunch but I took so long that we just grabbed a bite to eat in Subway then rushed to the Cinema in Byres Road to see 28 Weeks Later. It was really good, but jesus so gruesome at points even I had to turn away! We then went to the Beer Garden in Brel on Ashton Lane and drank Kronenburg Blanc, which is like £4 a pint - dumb as fuck
Had initial plans to meet Jo again at night and see a movie but it got too late so that didnt happen. For first time home in 6 weeks I thought id take it easy that night and that I should say more than 3 words to my parents before I fly home. Didnt get from nightmares of 28 weeks later. Scary as fuck. Just a little too gruesome. Eye gauging and stuff. This wasn't much fun as I had to be up at 5am, to get to airport for 6 for my 7am flight pretty much straight to work. Interesting waking up in Glasgow to start work in Stornoway. I was so tired in work that I was heavy breathing I was so exhausted and at times couldnt even stand up at points I was so tired. Had all these plans when I went back to the flat but aye right, was barely able to unpack properly before I KO'd for about half a day.
Lessons Learned - Don't shake hands with chav's
Dont let someone attack you with eyeliner you just look like a fag even if you yourself are turned on by how sexy your eyes look
Don't do rounds with Kronenberg Blanc
Don't watch a Zombie movie before a 7am flight to work.
Roll on next weekend
R
So we stayed later and didnt get back down to Glasgow until 6, meaning I just had a quick dinner, changed my shirt still suited up then went out again, this time to another party with Ewan, Natalie and Derek. Started in a club called Kushion where we bought Moet and hung out with Davyd and his friends who I havent seen in over 5 months. Left that party earlier than would have liked though to go to Haddows to buy supplies - miller and some pear cider.
We head to an 80's themed house party. The party gets raided by a group of neds though, one started getting a little mouthy with John who was hosting the party he asked them nicely to leave. Things were getting a little intense in the corridor and I could sense something was going to happen so tried to get a couple of other guys in to help get them out. One of the guys kept asking to shake John's hand and apologize. John lets him, but he grabs his hand then headbuts him The guy almost broke his nose. Was right in front of me. Disgusting. No idea how the wee scrawny piece of scum made it out of the flat alive.
John's brother 'Genga' is built like an army of tanks with bigger arms than the earths diameter. But there is a group of them and he doesnt know what they are carrying so, much to everyones surprise he does nothing. One of the guy that did it's mate comes back over to 'make the peace' while holding two bottles. The Police about then so he drops them and runs. We knew of a party the guy might have went to at 1 Byres Road - he invited us and we nearly went, just before he gave John a Glasgow Kiss -, they went and they caught him. Put him in the cells. They had to go via another disruption though as there were guys running around with Knives and Axes in another part of town - Welcome to Glasgow
They are passing some kind of lethal concoction around at the party that tastes like bleach. Then this girl Jo comes up and starts stabbing me in the eye with eye liner to make me 'more 80's looking' Party starts to die off so we head to another down the road. We invade the kitchen but it all a bit pish everyone was really drunk so I finished my long discussion with a guy that dressed and looked like Vincent in Pulp Fiction but wouldnt shut up about Reservoir Dogs and went home.
Woke up next morning and there's Jo. Hello. Sure I remember everything but theres always that morning after element of what the fuck that takes a couple of minutes to refresh your memory. Spent all Sunday morning feeling hungover, but had a shower and I was bouncing down the street. This feeling didnt last long though. Met my friend Simon initially for lunch but I took so long that we just grabbed a bite to eat in Subway then rushed to the Cinema in Byres Road to see 28 Weeks Later. It was really good, but jesus so gruesome at points even I had to turn away! We then went to the Beer Garden in Brel on Ashton Lane and drank Kronenburg Blanc, which is like £4 a pint - dumb as fuck
Had initial plans to meet Jo again at night and see a movie but it got too late so that didnt happen. For first time home in 6 weeks I thought id take it easy that night and that I should say more than 3 words to my parents before I fly home. Didnt get from nightmares of 28 weeks later. Scary as fuck. Just a little too gruesome. Eye gauging and stuff. This wasn't much fun as I had to be up at 5am, to get to airport for 6 for my 7am flight pretty much straight to work. Interesting waking up in Glasgow to start work in Stornoway. I was so tired in work that I was heavy breathing I was so exhausted and at times couldnt even stand up at points I was so tired. Had all these plans when I went back to the flat but aye right, was barely able to unpack properly before I KO'd for about half a day.
Lessons Learned - Don't shake hands with chav's
Dont let someone attack you with eyeliner you just look like a fag even if you yourself are turned on by how sexy your eyes look
Don't do rounds with Kronenberg Blanc
Don't watch a Zombie movie before a 7am flight to work.
Roll on next weekend
R
Sometimes I'm amazed at the shit the spills out of my mouth
Hey there!
I started writing blogs on my bebo page. I thought id expand onto here also while the going is good!
Enjoy
R
Well, what a pish weekend that was eh. Beach party in Tolsta was different. Haven't been camping in like 10 years hence my inability to do anything scout-like. I drank a lot though you can give me that. 2.5 bottles of Pinot later I do what im good at, disappear without saying anything and wake up having missed most of the nights activities. I woke up on my own though. Quite a feat considering.....anyway yeh so, May weekend im thinking yeh its Summer, wow, sun, relax..........lift back to my gran's its party time. 5 minutes later hangover kicks in and my gran, at her best, is telling me the local news, whom she speaks about I know nothing. Maybe I met them when I was like 3 but who remembers that shit?
Anyway yeh, interesting none the less, hangover kicks in so I just become a complete dick and moan and do practically nothing apart from watch snooker as it's now pishing it down with rain, it's windy and cold and my head jurts like FUCK. Pol texts me some arguementative stuff to do with SNP winning the election. Rage Rage Rage then 4 texts later im pissed off. If I don't want to vote I dont vote alright, deal with it. Im no SNP fan but no other party appealed to me either. So I don't vote.
Right so, back to my story. yeh so, relaxing weekend, did next to nothing given weather conditions. Watched snooker Semi's/Final. I love snooker and it's never been so good to watch, in my opinion it gets better every year. Cliche? Shut up im right ok. Plus my Great Uncle came down and although almost deaf in one hear and probably not hearing a word I said back it was cool cause he spoke about the War's (1st and 2nd) and Mac an t-Sronaich (google it if you have no idea who this is I can't be bothered explaining anymore). Anyway, so that was cool. I don't think ive spoke to my Great Uncle Norman properly like, ever. Plus he gave me some expensive whisky so can't say no to a wee drammeh.
Monday seems to be the longest day EVER. It rains, sun comes out. Im retarded so I go out as the sun is shining, by the time I reach the bloody gate it rains like ive just jumped in the shower. So heres me wet as fuck, pissed off (again) then that told you so look from my gran which made me laugh because I look like such a tit.
Just before I go I doorstep my gran's neighbour because he'd be pissed if I was over and didnt say hello. End up being dragged in, almost missing my bus but he puts across interesting political views, or is it personal. Scotland can be Independent he says, as down there in England, it's just full of foreigners. Hungarians, straight out of the jail. One time he was in Derby, this might be what 20 years ago? So yes, he's right. Lets do it SNP. Independence Day bring it on, say no to Hungarian inmates that escape out of jail and take our homes.
I get the night bus back. The bus driver to Barbhas is the postie that delivered to my grans like 15 years ago. He somehow remembers me but I have no idea how as I look nothing like I did that long ago. Knowing the Lewis community though he probably knew I was getting that bus and everything.
So, next is the Ness buss to get me back to Stornoway. I get on the bus and theres like 3 people on it, music is blaring. I give that what the fuck look to the mid twenties overweight driver, in a nice way as he is blaring out Leanne Rhymes. I check theres no Candid Camera's around as when the bus shoots off the guy starts fucking singing along. And I dont mean humming it but singing his heart out. Sure a few lines is acceptable in a really gay way, but this is like, for the whole song. What the F U C K. One of the other 2 guys on this bus slowly turns round with that classic what is it with this guy look. Right at this moment, I think - I want to go home.
I started writing blogs on my bebo page. I thought id expand onto here also while the going is good!
Enjoy
R
Well, what a pish weekend that was eh. Beach party in Tolsta was different. Haven't been camping in like 10 years hence my inability to do anything scout-like. I drank a lot though you can give me that. 2.5 bottles of Pinot later I do what im good at, disappear without saying anything and wake up having missed most of the nights activities. I woke up on my own though. Quite a feat considering.....anyway yeh so, May weekend im thinking yeh its Summer, wow, sun, relax..........lift back to my gran's its party time. 5 minutes later hangover kicks in and my gran, at her best, is telling me the local news, whom she speaks about I know nothing. Maybe I met them when I was like 3 but who remembers that shit?
Anyway yeh, interesting none the less, hangover kicks in so I just become a complete dick and moan and do practically nothing apart from watch snooker as it's now pishing it down with rain, it's windy and cold and my head jurts like FUCK. Pol texts me some arguementative stuff to do with SNP winning the election. Rage Rage Rage then 4 texts later im pissed off. If I don't want to vote I dont vote alright, deal with it. Im no SNP fan but no other party appealed to me either. So I don't vote.
Right so, back to my story. yeh so, relaxing weekend, did next to nothing given weather conditions. Watched snooker Semi's/Final. I love snooker and it's never been so good to watch, in my opinion it gets better every year. Cliche? Shut up im right ok. Plus my Great Uncle came down and although almost deaf in one hear and probably not hearing a word I said back it was cool cause he spoke about the War's (1st and 2nd) and Mac an t-Sronaich (google it if you have no idea who this is I can't be bothered explaining anymore). Anyway, so that was cool. I don't think ive spoke to my Great Uncle Norman properly like, ever. Plus he gave me some expensive whisky so can't say no to a wee drammeh.
Monday seems to be the longest day EVER. It rains, sun comes out. Im retarded so I go out as the sun is shining, by the time I reach the bloody gate it rains like ive just jumped in the shower. So heres me wet as fuck, pissed off (again) then that told you so look from my gran which made me laugh because I look like such a tit.
Just before I go I doorstep my gran's neighbour because he'd be pissed if I was over and didnt say hello. End up being dragged in, almost missing my bus but he puts across interesting political views, or is it personal. Scotland can be Independent he says, as down there in England, it's just full of foreigners. Hungarians, straight out of the jail. One time he was in Derby, this might be what 20 years ago? So yes, he's right. Lets do it SNP. Independence Day bring it on, say no to Hungarian inmates that escape out of jail and take our homes.
I get the night bus back. The bus driver to Barbhas is the postie that delivered to my grans like 15 years ago. He somehow remembers me but I have no idea how as I look nothing like I did that long ago. Knowing the Lewis community though he probably knew I was getting that bus and everything.
So, next is the Ness buss to get me back to Stornoway. I get on the bus and theres like 3 people on it, music is blaring. I give that what the fuck look to the mid twenties overweight driver, in a nice way as he is blaring out Leanne Rhymes. I check theres no Candid Camera's around as when the bus shoots off the guy starts fucking singing along. And I dont mean humming it but singing his heart out. Sure a few lines is acceptable in a really gay way, but this is like, for the whole song. What the F U C K. One of the other 2 guys on this bus slowly turns round with that classic what is it with this guy look. Right at this moment, I think - I want to go home.
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